Defeated

Ugh! I feel so defeated! It stems from yesterday...lots of stress that, for whatever reason, gave me a mental ticket to eat like crap. I was okay in the morning, but as the day progressed, I allowed myself to get too hungry which, in combination with stress, led to binge eating.

I actually didn't do horribly until last night. I have this unwritten rule to not eat after 9. Well, it was 9:08 and I was hungry. Like, legitimately hungry. I stood in the kitchen having one of those epic good vs. evil battles in my head. Do I want to look good on July 31st (SAF True Warrior Event -- ask me about it) or do I want to eat? Good prevailed. At first. Not to rat my husband out, but I mentioned to him that I was hungry and he suggested I eat something. I could've been strong, but no. My reaction was "Hmm, okay!" So I proceeded to go BACK into the God-forsaken kitchen and make a Nutella s'more. (By the way, it was amazing. Not worth it, but amazing.) Then I made another one.

UGH! Why am I so self-destructive in the name of food?? I guess everyone has their vice. Gambling, drinking, eating disorders, etc. Mine, unfortunately, is eating.

So, today, I'm going to be strong. One more round, right? Today's goals:

- Consume no more than 1,600 calories.
- Don't eat after 9.
- Do 100 pushups.

Okay, so pushups is kind of one of those left-field type of things. But it's my blog, so...just go with it.

Calories, 9:00, pushups. Got it? Got it. Good.